I am not one to regret things but if there is something I regret , it’s that I don’t have a child now. Look growing up as a Nigerian child you are taught repeatedly about how children should only come from a marriage situation and nobody cares that this is probably the reason for the high abortion rate in our country.
Don’t get me wrong please I still believe that a child is best brought up in a loving home which includes both parents who are together and most importantly married . Taking care of a child with both parents present is difficult enough , so imagine if it’s a single parent , though I highly commend the single parents who have given their kids all the double love and affection.
Digressing , yes marriage is the ideal situation to have a child but we were brought up to believe any other situation is evil and is a first class ticket to hell. Mistakes do happen, and instead of people to own up and take care of it the right way they resort to back room
A Nigerian parent will threaten to literally kill and disown you and talk about how you have brought shame to the family as if a baby is a taboo! When that child is born, the same
Parents will be the ones doting on them claiming grandparents. Parents very rarely kill their children for getting pregnant.
The reason I am bringing this up is because people my age mate who made the “mistake “ ages ago have a great advantage over me. They get to spend more time with their children. Life span isn’t increasing , our economic situation isn’t increasing either. A young man gets married these days between ages 33-37 on an average. If you marry at 33, have your first child at 34 and your last child at 40. By the time your last child turns 20 you are already 60 and with decreasing life span you don’t get to spend so much time with your children. Furthermore because of the ridiculous age gap they often do not form a friendly bond with you, rather they fear you .
I have friends who made that “mistake “ aged 20 and now have kids who are 11 years old. Of course for someone like me it’s too late to make that mistake though, cuz I have been on the straight path for too long. Our parents don’t understand that it is not economically possible for us in this day and age to get married at the same age they did. At my current age I think my dad already had all of his kids. And here I am without one, the situation now doesn’t allow us to be able to afford marriage early , and it costs us in the long run in the fact that we don’t get to spend more time with our kids before our time here on earth is done.
I envy my friends who have kids aged 8 and above, I really do. And I am not saying young people should go and start being reckless no, just saying getting pregnant shouldn’t be seen as a mortal sin, a child is and will always be a blessing regardless of situation it is conceived in.
By a Facebook user: Tout-puissant Baddan